Cultivating Clarity

​​Read Time: 4 Minutes

Welcome to Cultivating Clarity, where I share a weekly lesson to help you live better, longer.​

Background

Self-discipline is a sticky challenge. Everyone wants to become the kind of person who goes to the gym every day without a big fuss. Who has programmed themselves to eat a salad instead of a Big Mac for lunch every day. And darn near everyone I know has struggled with this challenge at some point. Which raises the question...

If so many people want to be self-disciplined, why do only a select few actually succeed at it?

I've done some research and experimentation. I've distilled my learning into today's newsletter and the infographic you'll find further down the page.

The difference (discipline that actually lasts)

Most people think discipline is a matter of willpower. But...

Willpower only gets you so far.

Life gets busy, you get tired. And your discipline dies. With it, your dreams.

So, you need a new approach. One that's resilient in the face of competing priorities.

An example will help. Let's say you want to work out more often.

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Right now, you're not going to the gym. You're a self-described "lazy" person. But you want to get in shape.

A hellacious internal dialogue that oscillates between "But it's hard" and "Don't be lazy" ensues.

"Don't be lazy" wins today. You shame yourself into going to the gym tomorrow. You lace 'em up and hit the weights.

"But it's hard" takes over as soon as you start squatting (you should always be squatting), though.

It IS hard.

So tomorrow you don't go.

"I'm lazy" comes screaming back, and you stop going to the gym until 3 months from now, when the shame is once again unbearable.

We'll call that Option A.​Not that fun, definitely not productive.

Or there's Option B:

You accept the fact that behavior change is really hard.

So you prepare for the battle ahead. You sit and get abundantly clear on why you wish to make the change you do.

(Side note: getting clear on why is the primary focus of Module 1 in Foundational Fitness--check it out if you're looking for a system to build your health.)

If it's going to the gym, what's your reason? Is it so you look good? So you can play with your future kids?

That's a start.

How about the mental clarity it affords you? The fact that your partner will be more attracted to you? Thinking even further into the future: you want to be able to play with your grandkids.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Write it all down. Tape it to your wall .Then go squat.

And when it's heavy, remember how good it's going to feel when you can get down on the floor when you're 75 and play with your grandbaby.

How good it's going to feel when your partner is drawn to your confidence, the twinkle in your eye.

And go one more rep!

Start with why, then move to the rest of the steps below.

A 3-step approach to building self-discipline:

1. Get clear on why

A few questions to complement the insights outlined above:

-Why do you want to make a change?
-Why are you doing the things you are currently (your job, your workout routine, what you do on the weekends)?
-How will the change you want to make positively affect your life?

2. Cast your support team

Hard things happen more readily when you surround yourself with support.

Who are 3-5 people who have made big changes (doesn't have to be the same change you're making; it's just important that they're change-makers) who you can turn to for support as you work to reinvent yourself?

3. Build a system

This is where the rubber meets the road.
What do you need to do every day?
When will you do it?
What's your daily minimum?

That's all for this week.
If this newsletter struck a chord, I'd love to hear from you.
Send me a note--I reply to every email.​

See you next Saturday.

Marcus

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